I promise – A quick guide to writing wedding vows.

“Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.” -Unknown

Words can have the most powerful and significant impact on another person.  One of the crucial and most important elements within a Wedding ceremony is exchanging vows.  It can be a little overwhelming trying to encapsulate everything you want to say in a few short sentences.   However, it really is worth taking some time thinking about the promises you want to make to each other.  You want to ensure that the words you say and receive have a genuine meaning and will be something you will remember for the rest of your lives.

When you chose to have a Celebrant to conduct your Wedding Ceremony, it’s a great option as the service will be a very personal one and not just a standard script. A Celebrant can help write your vows but to get started here are a few tips to help you along the way.

  1. Be open with your partner and discuss how long your vows will be; you don’t want one partner writing a novel whilst the other just says a few words, it needs to be balanced. You don’t have to discuss what you are going to say but rather the sentiment.  Will it have traditional elements, be religious, funny or include something only the two of you understand the meaning of?
  2. Think about vows fairly early on as you start to plan your special day; you don’t want to rush when the Wedding Day is approaching, there will be plenty of other things to keep you occupied and to be organising.
  3. Spend time making notes and don’t try to write everything at once. Take plenty of time before summarising what you want to say.
  4. Don’t stress and try to write when your creative juices aren’t flowing. Pick a time when you feel you can quietly consider and reflect on what is you love about your partner, why you want to marry them and your hopes for your life together.
  5. It is always important to include the words “I Love You” they are simple words with a massive meaning and after all that is why you are marrying that person.
  6. Remembering that life will always have its peaks and troughs and isn’t always a bed of roses. There is always the option to express how you will stand beside each other in any periods of trouble or hardship as well as the happy and pleasant times.
  7. Only use words that are realistic and don’t make promises that are only true in fairytales! Every relationship will have challenges but you can strive to make it better.
  8. There is nothing wrong with searching for inspiration from books, films and music; some incredible words have been written that will often perfectly express what you may want to say.
  9. If you want to use traditional words there are many useful phrases in other cultures and faiths, just do a bit of research.
  10. When you finalise what you want to say, make sure you mean every word and say it with conviction. Even practice saying it out loud in front of a mirror so you know you are happy and it feels right.
  11. Discuss your vows with your Celebrant and they will help to pace the delivery so you don’t need to be anxious on the day. You will be repeating the words so you don’t have to memorise them.
  12. Remember to keep your vows a secret; they are a gift to one another only to be announced on your special day.

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